Parachutes landing, Location unknown
1 year ago
permalink
the-absolute-best-posts:

lolsofunny:
The Defibrillator Toaster
My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”
“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”
He’s bread, Jim.
Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M
If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 
JESUS CRUST.
JAM IT!
“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

the-absolute-best-posts:

lolsofunny:

The Defibrillator Toaster

My mom would be so annoyed… every morning I would run into the kitchen screaming “WE’RE LOSING THEM!!! BEEP BEEP BEEPBEEPBEEP!”

“DON’T YOU DIE ON ME, DAMNIT!!!  NURSE, WE NEED 12 CC’S OF CREAM CHEESE, STAT!!!”

He’s bread, Jim.

Time of deliciousness: 7:15 A.M

If we don’t restart his heart , he’s toast! 

JESUS CRUST.

JAM IT!

“Daddy’s in a butter place now, kids.”

(Source: secretsbest)

Cite Arrow via dbmurphy
  1. smidgettesays reblogged this from lilredrunner
  2. as-ley reblogged this from unsolaced
  3. auztrayliah reblogged this from laughcentre
  4. nerdycupcake13 reblogged this from peppelepeuw
  5. everythingghappensforareasonx reblogged this from caitlinbarnabe
  6. philosahpher reblogged this from belovedtraveler
  7. humorgal reblogged this from shit-tumb1r-says
  8. belovedtraveler reblogged this from ayoflav
  9. ayoflav reblogged this from neptunelovedme
  10. gr4sky reblogged this from guy
  11. shockercombatman reblogged this from iceeyu
  12. acciogoat reblogged this from ipisscheese
  13. sageboba reblogged this from secretsbest
  14. ohrupert reblogged this from lilredrunner
  15. thetheodorenott reblogged this from lilredrunner
  16. do-notresuscitate reblogged this from caitlinbarnabe
  17. sunshinein-myeyes reblogged this from nursingfinds
  18. lilredrunner reblogged this from theodorepython
  19. bustedxstuff reblogged this from neptunelovedme
  20. caitlinbarnabe reblogged this from howigotthrunursingschool
  21. fabulous-consulting-dragon reblogged this from i-am-funnier-in-enochian
  22. thebeautyinhope reblogged this from nomadmedstudent
  23. punchieporknoodle reblogged this from nursingfinds
  24. cyntrashades reblogged this from luluparade
  25. hylianminecrafter reblogged this from dubellestep
Powered by Tumblr Designed by:Doinwork